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Room with a sense of humour in BRISBANE, Queensland for sale

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Position vacant: live in housekeeper and drinking buddy. Must have boobs. Byo drinks, convenient location, clean up after me, and drink every night. Some random nudity may be required. Immediate vacancy, apply in person. Must like single malt scotch, good rum, quality beer, top shelf gin, and prefer a nice bum. Applicants with a pretty face will be highly regarded. Must be a good wingman also - And intuitive enough to know when to pretend to be my crazy jealous girlfriend (fatties or beer goggles), and when to be a flatmate. This is actually a real post!